Living the VIP life in Abu Dhabi

Well like most social affairs in Abu Dhabi, the evening started out of with some light cocktails and sophisticated conversation over a game of backgammon.

In reality, Steve L got things going by telling me all about his favorite parts on the female body. As you can see by my reaction, I am quite amused and so enthralled by his argument, that I later subscribed to his weekly newsletter.

Be that as it may, it was my birthday.

My wife made some calls -- because she's smooth like that -- and set up a festive evening that was complete with delicious fare, strong rum drinks, bottle service at one of our favorite clubs and three different birthday cakes. Yes, somehow three cakes were involved. Crazy.

The cocktails at Trader Vic's at the Beach Rotana Hotel were strong and plentiful. We had a 20-person group so the good folks at the restaurant separated us into two big tables.

"I had no idea you were so popular," Steve said when we sat down.

"Oh, most of the guests were hired for the evening," I joked.

Steve's eyes lit up with anticipation as he started to straighten his eye brows.

"No, not that kind of hired guests," I scolded. "Get your head out of the gutter."

The strong rum drinks were starting to get on top of us just before some tequila shots decided to sneak into the party. 

My good mate Liam got me a shot glass for my birthday -- yes, I just turned 21 -- and right after the server took upon himself to fill up the skull-engraved shot glass with Jagermeister is when the night really started to get wild.

This was also about the same time our hired photographer also started to feel the effects of strong alcohol, as evident by his blurry photos. So after the restaurant, he just tried to keep up the best he could, as we ventured to the Intercontinental Hotel for our VIP reserved tables at the Yacht Club.

Getting bottle service at a club is always a great time. I wish I could do it every time I went out but that would put me straight into the poor house. 

Most of our friends did not know of our "VIP" plans and were pretty shocked when they saw the reserved tables and the bottles of vodka waiting for us. Champagne and cake were also involved.

It sure did put a smile on Steve's face.

As you can imagine, the evening quickly elevated to rockstar status. Miranda is the most amazing wife in the world because she set the entire thing up. I love that woman. 

A few people asked me why we went big on my 34th birthday, suggesting that 35 should be the milestone. Well, we looked at it like we wanted to see what a VIP birthday in Abu Dhabi could bring and we found out. It was an easy equation: Good friends, good food, strong drink and lots of dancing is good for the soul.

Miranda wasn't done there. The last part of the equation was recovery time and we got that when she surprised me the next day with a little getaway to St. Regis Hotel on Saadiyat Island. It was a beautiful place to spend quality time with with my lovely wife, drink plenty of water and recover.

I guess I'm getting old.

Flying in style

My debut into the UAE was delayed a few times because of red tape and some unexplained confusion.

After Thanksgiving with my family in Virginia, I traveled with my girlfriend, Miranda, to her mother's house in River Falls, Wisconsin for what I thought would be a few days.

I actually spent the next two weeks in the beautiful Midwest, getting to know her family, drinking home-made cinnamon hooch, watching Green Bay Packers games and trying to survive the foot of snow that seamlessly fell in a few hours on God's Country.

During the whitewash, I caught a little cold, which I blamed on the sharp climate change. It turned into something much worse, but more on that later.

I received a spotty phone call from an HR employee at my new job and before I knew it, my plane ticket was booked and I was expected to be in Abu Dhabi in the next 30 hours.

Giddy up.

Etihad Airlines is just as posh as advertised. I gave a quick look to the left immediately after I boarded my plane in Chicago and saw the plush, business-class chairs that also fashioned into fold-out beds. Huge flat screen TVs were in front of each of the spacious chairs and the champagne was on ice.

Maybe my newspaper decided to send me across the world in style?

While I licked my lips in anticipation, I showed my ticket stub to a stewardess, dressed in traditional Indian threads, and was promptly pointed to the right along with the rest of the globe-trotting peasants.

I had an aisle seat next to another new hire, Steve, and it was nice to talk with someone in the same boat (plane) as me.

Steve, a veteran in the journalism game, had previously worked for CBSSports.com and has a wife and 8-year-old son back in Orlando. They are staying in sunny Florida. He is coming to the Middle East to figure out the UAE and get paid. So it goes.

A lingering sickness clouded my thoughts and took precedent over any anxiety of a new job, living in a new country, briefly leaving my girlfriend behind and an entire change in life. Recent sleepless nights had led to lethargic days and in an attempt to catch ZZZs on the plane, I had a cache of assorted drugs to help lose conscience.

Valium. Pain killers. Over-the-counter sleeping pills. I took them all chased with a bloody Mary but to no avail.

Instead, I sluggishly watched four different movies on the much smaller TV in front of me. During the 13-hour flight from Chicago to Abu Dhabi, I tried to stretch my legs under an overweight man in front of me, who enjoyed to throw his arm behind his head during his sporadic sleep and block my view of The Hunger Games.

The sun rose. The sun set. After two chicken airplane dinners -- yes, two of them served about six hours apart -- the plane started to descend into the Middle East. After the first chicken dinner, Klondike ice cream bars were served to those still awake. It was quite a treat -- definitely the highlight of the flight.

When we touched down, I looked to a second-guessing Steve, and offered some confirmation.

"Well, we made it. Welcome to the desert. No turning back now," I said, with a hint of sarcasm.

"Yeah," he said, with dead serious caution. "Now let the confusion begin."