A day at the camel race track

For a few years, while I lived outside of Baltimore, I took part in the annual shenanigans that surround the Preakness at Pimlico Racetrack. The second jewel of the country's Triple Crown was usually a drinking all-star game for the misfits who pillage in that fair city.

The horse races were held last weekend -- anyone drinking at the infield party probably didn't see any of the action -- but it got me thinking about the racing action back here in the UAE. This country's biggest horse racing event is the Dubai World Cup and is actually the highest paid race in the world as the winner walks away with a check for $10 million.

There are other kinds of racing the region has also been known for. When I first moved here, I learned quickly of the competitive camel races held in the outskirts of Abu Dhabi simply by turning on the TV.

It wasn't long before I joined up with some other thrill-seekers and journeyed out in the middle of desert to see ridiculous camel racing in person. Our debut was ill timed...

It was 7.15 in the morning and after several hard stares by some of the finest camel racing juggernauts in the business, we decided to drive around the infield looking for a good party. You know, just like Pimlico. I figured it would be no time at all before we ran into a gaggle of drunks tailgating for the main race. 

Unfortunately, we did not find that. We actually found nothing at all. In fact, we were lost. At a camel race. In the middle of the freaking desert.

So like the good people we are, we tried to make friends...

This camel jockey gentleman gave Kristen directions that seemed very clear at the time. We got more than five hand movements or gestures, so it was a clear indication that we were very close.

Almost a half-hour later, we found the spectator venue for the races and looked around for a scalper so we could buy tickets. It was Thursday but I still expected a sell-out crowd for such a riveting display of sport...

I did not place any bets for the same reason I didn't crack open a beer. The fine people who run this country feel it is not proper and therefore, it's illegal. 

But recklessly driving your SUV alongside a race track and pushing the button on a remote control so a mechanism slaps the back of your racing camel is common practice.

Before they had the little slapping machines atop the camels, they used little children as jockeys so don't get me started about the inhuman things they did to those kids. That's a story for another day. Until then, cheers to all the horses in America and abroad but I think it's obvious that camel racing is the world's premier racing sport.