Who has the best burger in UAE?

During a recent visit to the always-faithful Fuddrockers in Al Wahda Mall, my wife and I reluctantly watched as hungry patrons could not wait for their food so they decided to treat the burger toppings bar like their personal salad bar.

When they couldn't find proper dressing, they just used that pasteurized nacho cheese to add flavor to their otherwise healthy supplement.

Pure hilarity.

I only bring it up because some friends back home believe that beef is not allowed in the UAE, which is a concept that is so far-fetched, I just got hungry thinking about it.

In fact, the good people of Abu Dhabi love their burgers so much, my newspaper, The National, put together a skilled group of aficionados to decifer an answer to the age-old question that has been plagueing these parts for centuries:

Who has the UAE's best burger?

Besides a picture of the Crown Prince of Abu Dhabi meeting with US President Barack Obama and under an article about the increase of Emirati female college graduates, the "buger expert analysis" piece made the front page of today's paper. Stop the press!

While I was relieved Fuddrockers made the final list -- Yaay, coporate America -- I was just a little weary of the judges. Don't get me wrong, my colleagues at The National are some of the finest journalists in all the land. But after a quick glance at the names, I noticed that there were only three male judges compared to eight female judges.

Pardon my French but what do women know about burger consumtion??

I am not trying to be sexist here. Really, I'm not.

I guess I'm just feeling left out. I wanted to be a judge... Where was my invitation? I could have offered my vast knowledge on the subject and who doesn't like a free lunch?

Journalists love a free lunch. We thrive on it.

But we will never take it to the extreme. Like fixing yourself a little starter salad while waiting for a burger at Fuddrockers. Yea, like you've never done that before...