Cheaters never win (or flush the toilet)

Every so often, a story that transcends the sports medium comes across our desk at The National and it's too good not to share with our loyal Soggy Dirhams Blog readers.

I think we all can agree that chess is an amazing game. Never played it before? Well then, just bare with me for a minute.

Regardless of the skyrocketing popularity for this game, no one likes a cheater.

Am I right?

So when a chess grandmaster from Georgia -- the country, not the US state -- showed up in Dubai last week and wanted to win the $12,000 award for this chess tournament, I guess he could not rely solely on his narly chess skills to bring home the cheddar. Instead, he kept a mobile phone in a nearby public bathroom and kept excusing himself to the laboratory to use a chess app on his smart phone to cheat.

The tournament officials eventually caught him and they sent us this amazing photo:

Can you guess who the cheater was? It's a tough call but I'm going to go with the shady dude in purple, who looks like he has not slept or showered in a few days.

His name is Gaioz Nigalidze and cleanliness proved to be an issue during his cheating scandal in Dubai.

According to Yahya Mohammed, the tournament director, his investigation into the frequent bathroom visits was an open-and-shut case: "The last time he went, he was in there for maybe 10 to 15 minutes -- with no flush. Nobody uses the toilet for 15 minutes without flushing," he told reporter Paul Radley of The National.

No flush? This dude just got lazy. He's probably been cheating like this for years.

After he was confronted for cheating, Nigalidze was banned for 15 years and then everyone associated with the chess world -- myself included -- let out a sigh of relief.

Click here to read the full report.

A food truck? In Abu Dhabi??

In America, food trucks are the real deal.

These mobile eateries literally drive up and park next to the people and keep the masses satisfied with delicious food and drink. They started to pick up on the West Coast but have now consumed just about every major metropolitan city in the country.

Great movies like Chef have documented the rise of food trucks in America.

Editor's Note: the movie also has an amazing soundtrack so do yourself a favor and get a free listen on YoutTube.

Like many things in the Western Hemisphere, I knew it would be just be a matter of time before this latest culinary craze trickles down to the UAE.

Introducing the 21 Emirati Cafe food truck:

I apologize in advance. Due to a broken foot -- I will explain that story later -- I could not conduct my normal investigation nor did I prod the workers with inquiries.

Just a few of the many questions we all have:

- What does the "21" mean? Is there an age restriction to dine here?
- Do you guys serve Emirati food? Did the country's founders snack on nachos?
- What is business like? I can see you are very busy...
- How can we keep track of where you will be? Are you going to hit any huge music festivals this summer?
- Is that a black velvet rope next to the window? So luxurious.

Instead of an interview, I snapped a few photos and then hobbled away in disgrace. But after research online, I found they do have a Four Square account, whatever that is?

I have seen the truck perched off Sheikh Zayed Road (Salam Street) near the Eastern Mangroves but during this particular encounter, I found them in the parking lot of the Marina Mall. As the picture shows, foot traffic was very heavy that night.

Has there been any other sightings? Please, do tell.

I really hope the food truck culture picks up in Abu Dhabi. The 21 Emirati Cafe is a pioneer in the local scene and as soon as I get in there for a taste, I'll be sure to update my local readers on the flavor. Cheers.

Preparing for a baby in the UAE: Is my life over?

Shit just got real.

For me, baby apparel that actually goes on my body takes things to a whole new level. That's our friend Meagan strapping a Baby Bjorn to my chest. Sigh...

If you haven't heard already, my amazing wife Miranda is a little over 19 weeks pregnant and for the last few months, the limited free space in our one-bedroom apartment has become more and more limited.

Baby stuff is starting to mount with a very present momentum as our storage space has become consumed by a baby crib, stroller, sink bath tub, and plenty of other baby accessories.

But where am I going to store my camping gear? What about my mountain bike? More importantly, where the hell am I going to put my pool table?

I know what you're saying: Get ready big daddy, things are about to change in your simple little life. So let the freakout begin!

Thank goodness, there is proper prose for men that are in my current situation. Trust me, I have read plenty of the traditional "So you're going to be a parent -- get ready for your life to end" books. They are scattered along my desk at home, they sit on my bedside table and I even have one next to the toilet.

But the best book I have read so far is this one:

"Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads" by Gary Greenberg and Jeannie Hayden has restored my confidence, calmed some of my fears and exposed me to some great tips such as:

- how to change a diaper at a packed stadium
- create a decoy drawer full of old wallets, remote controls and cell phones to throw baby off the scent of your real gear
- construct an emergency diaper out of a towel, a sock and duct tape

It could use an update, however, based on the dated technology references to VCRs and pagers. But reading about that stuff usually makes for a good laugh and proves that fathers-to-be have also been freaking out since as far back at the early 1990's.

Books help. Friends offer great words of encouragement. But the fact remains...

We are having a baby. In the United Arab Emirates. What the hell are we thinking?

Buy the ticket; take the ride.