Emirates Post in Abu Dhabi is amazing!

We are expecting our baby daughter to arrive this month so the constant flow of generous gifts arriving from our friends and family overseas has been very special.

But the mail and/or package delivery system in this country is a hard nut to crack.

You see, in the grand land of the UAE, normal citizens do not enjoy the luxury of personal mailboxes at the end of the driveway. What's a driveway, you ask. Good question. The days of the suburban mailman running away from the barking dog are over.

You are not in Kansas anymore.

Most expats just use the PO Box address at their office of employment for mail delivery. But when doing that, you are now at their mercy and it can be a frustrating endeavour.

The postage workers at The National are nice guys, when you can actually catch them. During Ramadan, they were almost non-existent. But now, they usually "work" from about 10am until around 4pm. I work evenings and arrive at my office around 4pm so it has been a cat-and-mouse game with them for the last few weeks.

Actual text message dialogue with a colleague from work:

Me: Hey mate, let's say I want to mail an envelope, do you think our office manager or someone in the office post desk can sell me a stamp and put it in the outgoing mail?

Esteemed colleague: No.

Me: Wow, just no? That's it? No recourse...

EC: Emirates Post, bro.

Me: Just for a simple envelope? So you're telling me I have to drive into town, find parking, probably wait in lines and potentially lose my sh*t just for a UAE stamp?

EC: Yep.

Me: That seems logical. Oh yea, what's that? Logic? I threw that right out the window when I moved here, right? Thanks for the info. But if you will now excuse me, I have to designate what surely will be a 45-minute ordeal toward the simple and mundane task of mailing an envelope.

EC: You're weird, bro.

When Miranda and I pulled into the Emirates Post parking lot, we were shocked to find a spot very close to the door. VIP parking for VIPP (very important and pregnant people).

Emirates Post is a pretty big building with lots of intricate, smaller offices inside of it. It's also where you go to get your Emirates ID and plenty of other "just moving here" tasks.

They take the DMV approach: to limit human exchange, you push a button, get a ticket, have a seat and then patiently wait for your number to appear on the small electrical screens above each faithful and understanding government worker.

It helps to arrive with a beautiful woman. Aside from the gawking stares she will receive from seemingly bored men just waiting for their number to be called, you will also get to enjoy your own waiting area and soak up some more VIPP luxury.

The wait wasn't too long. About 15 minutes. Our guy weighed my simple envelope, we briefly negotiated the postage price and as soon as I licked and applied the stamps, he tossed the envelope over his shoulder -- without looking -- and it fell into a basket marked "standard delivery".

And just like that, the long journey for that simple little envelope had begun.

Before we were about to leave, I asked if he possibly had any packages addressed to me. My packages are supposed to come to my office but once they arrive in the UAE, things seem to slow down and packages bound for my office will marinate at Emirates Post for days or even weeks.

Sure enough, a special package from Texas addressed to yours truly had been collecting dust there since Ramadan. We were thrilled with this news, which resulted in a high-five between husband and pregnant wife.

We came to Emirates Post not knowing what to expect with a mere envelope in our hands. We left with a big package full of new baby clothes in tow and with a victorious smile on our faces.

It truly was a UAE success story.