After an across-the-globe flight, followed by a sleepless night in a hotel, I shrugged off a lingering illness and made my grand debut at
The National for my first day of work.
I remember my first day at
The V.I. Daily News. On my way to work, I took a photo of a car accident they published the next day in the news section and filed two sports stories before the editorial staff even walked into the office. They had no idea what kind of journalism monster they had just hired but they learned very quickly.
My goal for any job is the same: always make a big first impression.
Well, after my first day of work in Abu Dhabi, I was taken to the emergency room.
I guess you could say I made a pretty big splash. Within hours, the other reporters, editors, designers and janitors from across the newsroom knew my name, heard of my ER visit and were quick to question this random new hire from the States, who sported a pony tail.
After my ER news broke, people started betting on how long I would actually last in the UAE. Early bets set the over/under at a week. Others believed I had already rented a camel and was headed to Israel.
So what happened? Ok, I'll tell you.
I was still very sick from an illness that started when I was back in Wisconsin. But I thought it was just a cold. It didn't matter because it was time to knuckle up for my first day of work.
When a page layout editor was showing me how to log in to the content management system, I was sitting in a chair next to him and I almost fainted. Seriously. Then when my editor saw hives creeping up the back of my neck, he knew it was time to throw in the towel.
"Aaron, are you OK?" he asked, very concerned.
At this point, everything was happening in slow motion for me. Similar to when Will Ferrell's character
got shot with a tranquilizer dart in the movie,
Old School.
"Dude, we've waited long enough for you to get here so if you die on the first day, that would not be cool," one of the other editors said from behind me, after inspecting my hives breakout. "Go home, get better."
I had no idea about the hives. But when I stumbled back to the hotel and took off my shirt, I was covered in them. It was nasty. I fell asleep and when I woke up the next day, it was worse.
That's when another co-worker suggested the ER. I'm glad she pulled the trigger, because I still didn't think it was that serious. The ER? That's only where
Eriq LaSalle and a young George Clooney took care of bloody gun shot victims.
At the ER, they had me hooked up to an IV and when I sort of came to, there were three doctors looking at me. One of them cringed when he looked down my throat.
"Enough of the semantics," I said. "Can you fix me?"
Then they brought in a dermatologist to check out the hives. Turned out, the dermatologist was an Emirate woman dressed in a full traditional black burqa, which meant I could only see her eyes.
I didn't want to disrespect so I was hesitant to disrobe. But she said not to worry and that she wanted to examine me. When she saw the hives all over my stomach, arms and torso, she immediately looked confused. I don't think she had ever seen something like that before.
She confirmed my suspension when she pulled out her personal iPhone and snapped a few shots. I imagined her chilling at the local dermatologist hangout later that day and saying something like, "Yo, check out this dude. How fucked up is this?"
Final diagnosis: bacterial throat infection. Reason for skin hives: undetermined.
The next four days were spent in and out of a deep sleep as my body, with the aide of five different prescribed antibiotics, slowly recovered.
With the blinds drawn to cover my hotel windows, I couldn't tell when it was day and when it was night. The TV had all of three English language channels and one of them was MTV so watching shows like "I Used To Be Fat" and "Room Raiders" just made me more ill.
I eventually got better and was finally able to respond to the
are you alive email inquiries from my new co-workers. I was back at work five days later and ready to start learning.
It was like I was in a top-ranked boxing main event and seconds after the opening bell, the UAE -- my esteemed opponent -- connected on a powerful overhand right.
After a standing eight-count, I got my shit together. There's no question that right from the start, I absorbed the best punch this place could throw. Now I'm ready to go on the offensive.
