Adventures in Cyprus

Living in the UAE puts you right in the middle of the world. Literally. Places we would not have dreamed of visiting while we lived in the States are now in the palm of our hand.

Sri Lanka, Kenya, Turkey... the list goes on and on.

So when my lovely wife had a small window of time in between starting her new job, we packed our bags, booked some cheap flights and zipped out of the sweaty desert for a few days.

When we first touched down in the Mediterranean island of Cyrpus, it looked like a Euro-trash Spring Break party straight out of the trailer park. Thirsty and mischievous teenagers crammed the passport arrival check-in desk. Backwards hats were everywhere.

Luckily, all those young hooligans got on a bus to Ayia Nappa and were never seen again. I'm sure that's a great part of the island but my wife and I just wanted to chill out. Entering a wet T-shirt contest or bonging a bottle of Jagermeister was not on our itinerary.

Instead, we sipped white wine and watched the world go by from quaint cafes in Nicosia. We strolled the marina in Kyrenia and did our best to shun aggressive locals trying to get us on their cruise boat. We gawked at sun-burned tourists in Paphos and melted together while watching the sunset.

It was the perfect getaway. And to spend that time with someone you love makes it even more special.

She is quite lovely. A perfect traveling companion.

I like her because she is always down to try anything. That includes the local cuisine.

Everyone loves to eat well while on vacation and we were no different. There were strong Greek and Turkish influences, fresh mezze with every meal and did I mention the wine?

And of course, some hilarious things happened, too.

I was shocked when I realized that in Cyrpus, they drive on the left side and the wheel is on the right side. I found that out as soon as I walked off the plane and approached the Budget rental car desk. That took a few days getting used to as I ripped our little compact car through the mountains.

On the Greek side of the island, most of the signs had English translations. The Turks, on the other hand, don't give a shit so we got lost while driving. Quite often.

When we asked for directions after crossing the border, the agent asked me a question in Turkish -- more than once -- and when I did not have a Turkish response for him, he decided to search our car and all our belongings. It was very strange.

For some reason, people assumed I was Turkish. It must be the nose. Or my beard? As long as I did not speak, my street credit was solid. But the gig never lasted very long.

To watch the US-Belgium match in the World Cup, we confidently strolled up to some dingy bar on the strip in Paphos and the manager thought he recognized us so he awarded us with two free shots just for walking into his bar. It was actually a very official welcome. He wrote down Two Free Shots on a scrap piece of paper, handed it to me and showed us to our table.

During another boozy encounter, while slugging watered-down Tequila shots at a pool bar in Paphos, a teenage bartender asked us with a serious face, "Why are you guys even here?" I was taken aback by her honesty. I think she was hinting that we were staying at a family resort and no one had ordered Jose Cuervo at that bar since 1995.

The best part of our trip was when we drove up the Karpaz Peninsula (in the red box below). Everyone we talked to asked us why we would take such a long excursion and advised us that it would be boring. We found it to be the best day of the entire trip.

We would just pull off the road at random times to take in the sights and stop and these little beach bars. If we had done better research, we would have stayed a least one night at the Big Sand Beach Bungalows. We stopped in for a beer and good conversation.

No need to describe the place. Just check out their video:



Along the peninsula, it was nothing but amazing scenery, quiet landscapes and some skinny-dipping in broad daylight (Sorry, no pictures). That basically checks all my boxes for a good vacation.

Cyprus is an interesting island with a very divided history. Now I finally understand why my good friend from high school, Alexi, who comes from a strong Greek family, absolutely despises Turkey.

Sometimes, you just have to go to places and figure it out for yourself.

Cheers, Alexi.