Babymoon in the Seychelles

I have said it many times on this blog and it's been echoed to my expat friends within the UAE and beyond:

THE OPPORTUNITY TO TRAVEL is the best thing about living here.

As our passports fill up with international stamps and my little collection of ziploc bags with currency from all around the world continues to build, I find myself asking: when will this end?

Some people think having a baby on the way -- Miranda is eight months pregnant -- will throw a wrench into our travel plans. But we are not so quick to assume that.

The goal is to have our child adapt to our lifestyles. Not the other way around. Yes, I know that sounds a little selfish and perhaps a little unrealistic, but we've already agreed that we're going to give it a shot. After all, she is an international baby.

While in the womb, she has already visited six (6) different countries! She will have her US passport photo taken within the first 10 days of her life. By comparison, I was well out of high school before I even visited a foreign land for the first time or applied for that little blue booklet that would allow me to do so.

 

So to keep up with our travels, Miranda asked me if there were any destinations on my before-our-daughter-arrives bucket list. One place came to mind: the Far East. Then our friend Anna accepted a new job in Beijing so the writing was on the wall. Our five-day trip to China was eye-opening and shocking and inspiring all at the same time.

After that, it was time to hit some beautiful beaches. Everyone in Abu Dhabi -- at least many of the Western expats -- like to talk about the Maldives and the Seychelles as the ultimate paradise getaway from the UAE.

Both sets of islands are pretty similar, both are located in the Indian Ocean and both are a few hours away by plane.

Speaking of planes, there were only a few weeks left before Miranda and her growing belly could be allowed to board one. So we booked our tickets for the Seychelles and then #BabyMoon2015 was in full effect.

Traveling will always open your eyes to things.

Example: So Miranda and I joined other vacation-inspired people wearing their loose-fitting cabana outfits and together, we all got on a plane, flew directly over a country violently divided in a bloody civil war, crossed the equator, and then, about three hours later, landed in a tropical paradise. Indeed, we live in strange times.

But once we touched down at Mahe, where about 90 percent of the Seychelles population lives, the unrest in Yemen was about the farthest thing from our mind. I guess vacation does that to you.

It was also my first visit to Africa. Yes, you heard me right. That group of beautiful islands absorbed in the vast Indian Ocean are considered to be among the continent of Africa.

And what a cool vibe Mahe had.

It was very similar to the Caribbean, which is where Miranda and I first met when we were both living and working on St. Thomas, US Virgin Islands.

Being swept up in that similar setting -- relaxing breezes, strong drink and brief afternoon showers -- was a great way for us to take an inventory on our relationship and enjoy some of the final days we will ever have alone ... without our offspring.

It was also a great time for me to celebrate my wife and everything she has already done for our growing family. Could not think of a better place to share those moments with her.

Top things to do while hosting visitors in Abu Dhabi

They do not come often but when visitors do touch down on UAE soil and take in that first breath of fresh desert air, I like to greet them with cold beer and a smile.

I was just kidding about that first part. You need a liquor license to drink alcohol in this country -- c'mon, everyone knows that -- but the smiles are free and I tend to give them out on a first-come, first-served basis.

Basically, when friends and family come to visit, my goal is to show them a good time and expose them to some of the cool things I have picked up during my short time here. I usually tell them to leave their preconceived notions about the Middle East at home and buckle up, because it's going to be a wild ride.

So if you are an expat living in Abu Dhabi and you're coming up short of things to plan for a friend visiting town (really?) then you need to read this must-do checklist carefully. If you are a tourist or someone considering a move to the UAE, these tidbits should help:

DISCLAIMER: My little brother Conor visited us for a week and we pulled all of this off despite me working four out of the seven nights he was in town. I have to chalk that up to having a cool wife, who hung out with him while I was at the office and for Conor being a cool traveler, who did not need me to hold his hand every second so he could have fun. The more trips you take with people, the more you realize that everyone travels differently. Word to the wise, my friend.

Day 1 (welcome to the desert)
- Flights from the other side of the world (Australia, America, etc.) usually arrive late at night and by that time, your weary traveling guest may be a little jetlagged so letting them sleep may be paramount.
- Pick them up at airport, take them to their hotel or to your place so you can show off your digs.
- Be sensitive to their sleeping needs.

Day 2 (start them out slowly)
- Let them lounge by the pool at your building or their hotel to get started. This will help them get acclimated to the desert heat and shake off the jetlag.
- Grab lunch at Cafe Arabia. Great local spot with a cool rooftop deck. Order the shakshuka if you are in a breakfast kind of mood.
- Show them where you work and give them a tour of your office. Introduce them to your work mates and let them see your desk. They will be curious what you are doing in the UAE for a job and of course, how much you are paid.
- Maybe a little happy hour at Captain Of Arms behind Le Meridian hotel. It's also near the Abu Dhabi Mall if they want to get some shopping in.

Day 3 (let's get this party started)
- Take them to the Grand Mosque and let them walk around and grab those obligatory Middle East photos. The GM is always a great spot to visit and should impress any visitor. Be sure to go early in the day to beat the heat and the other tourists. In a hurry? You can conquer this site in 20 minutes or just take your sweet time.
- Shoot on down to Emirates Palace, one of the grandest hotels in the world. Plenty to see as you walk around and yes, they DO have an ATM machine that dispenses gold bricks. They also have pools and beach action there if you feel like getting wet.
- Take the scenic drive down the Corniche and head to Saddiyat Island. There is golf, beach and museums there to indulge in. I always like to make a stop at FANR for some light cocktails and their famous camel burger.
- Finish it off with some drinks at the Saddiyat Beach Club, formerly the Monte Carlo Club, with some live music pool side. The beach is a very short walk away and the sunsets from there are very memorable.

Day 4 (the fun continues)
- Start day off with a beach visit to the Corniche. Sure, they may have saw the beach from the car already so now they are ready to dive right in. There are public beaches along this six-kilometer stretch and there are also private beaches where you can rent lounge chairs and umbrellas.
- Have lunch at Nova Beach Cafe. It's right on the public beach and will provide great people watching at one of the busiest spots on the Corniche. They have cafe tables outside and day beds to relax on.
- Any need for speed? Spend the afternoon at Al Forsan International Sports Resort, where you can do anything from paintball to shooting real firearms. But my favorite is the carting. If you bring a group of friends, try to reserve the track in advance. Every driver can register right there and your results are posted electronically after the 20-minute race. Not long enough? Trust me, your body will be feeling it after the checkered flag is waved.

Day 5 (time to catch your breath)
- This city is saturated with gaudy malls and they are popping up everywhere. Let your guests get overwhelmed in Marina Mall, Yas Mall or Al Wahda Mall -- a few of my favorites. Not that I am a big fan of these establishments but your visitor may want to take in some of the conspicuous consumption that has made the UAE famous.
- A few more non-established outlets could include the Iranian Souq E Meena Fish Market or the Souk Qaryat Al Beri.
- If there is any energy left after your shopping spree, then a desert safari should be in your afternoon plans. Most of the companies do a great job with this as it usually starts around 3pm and then get you back to Abu Dhabi around 11.30pm. There are plenty of companies here that offer different options -- all of them are usually great.

Day 6 (time to eat and drink)
- Friday is a day for brunch and here in Abu Dhabi, it can be done in style. Especially with guests in from out of town. Every hotel and even more restaurants offer different takes on brunch. The options are endless. I would have to devote an entire blog post to all my favorites. You get the idea.
- Brunch usually goes from noon to 4.30pm. Be sure to tell your guests to pace themselves because there are a lot of 'after-brunch' spots that offer more drink specials and live music.
- Be safe. Take cabs everywhere. Rock some Uber. The real heros last after the sun goes down but there is no fault in taking an afternoon siesta that stretches into the weekend. Cheers.

Day 7 (final stretch)
- Who said brunch is only for Fridays? One of my favorite spots in the UAE is Blue Marlin Ibiza and they offer a very chill brunch on Saturday mornings. They are located in between Dubai and Abu Dhabi so it's a great spot to meet new people.
- Lounge on the beach, take in their Mediterranean cuisine and dance your face off with the live music.
- But make sure you have a designated driver. They even offer DD's for you for an additional price.

*   *   *

By the time I dropped Conor off at the airport, he told me that it was one of the best trips he had ever taken and I can only attribute that to my amazing hosting abilities.

I know, so modest.

Some people think taking a vacation to the Middle East is some kind of dangerous experience. But like I've said countless times, the UAE is very different compared to what you are reading in newspapers and scoffing at on the television. Seeing it for yourself is the only way you will know.

I'm glad Conor took the chance. Just another satisfied customer.

Let it be known: My door is always open.

Goodness, gracious Great Wall of China

Since my amazing wife and I are expecting our first child in late August, we have put our foot on the gas and accelerated our travel plans.

Not because life ends when a baby comes into the picture.

No sir. Quite the opposite, really.

Since this beautiful baby bump has emerged on my beautiful wife, our daughter-to-be has officially traveled to five different countries already ... FIVE! While growing up in America, I didn't even flirt with Europe until college. Oy!

But for our sweet baby, she has already hit India, Thailand, the UAE, the United States and we just added China to the list. Quite the world traveler this one...

We have set the bar high so when she officially joins our clan, we can only imagine that she will have the thirst for travel my wife and I already share. We have a Baby Bjorn and we plan on using it.

During this latest endeavor, we visited our great friend Anna in Beijing for five days. There were daily flights to China's capital via Etihad and since Anna works for Kempinski Hotels, we had a great place to stay during our visit.

But to be honest, our main goal for this little getaway was just to experience a new culture. I mean half the planet lives there so we really had to see this place for ourselves. Our Chinese visas were stamped, we had Baby Gray in tow and we made sure to hit all the sights.

There was Tiananmen Square, the Forbidden City, plenty of dumplings to eat, along with some Pekking Duck and to top it all off: Goodness, gracious, the Great Wall of China!

Cheaters never win (or flush the toilet)

Every so often, a story that transcends the sports medium comes across our desk at The National and it's too good not to share with our loyal Soggy Dirhams Blog readers.

I think we all can agree that chess is an amazing game. Never played it before? Well then, just bare with me for a minute.

Regardless of the skyrocketing popularity for this game, no one likes a cheater.

Am I right?

So when a chess grandmaster from Georgia -- the country, not the US state -- showed up in Dubai last week and wanted to win the $12,000 award for this chess tournament, I guess he could not rely solely on his narly chess skills to bring home the cheddar. Instead, he kept a mobile phone in a nearby public bathroom and kept excusing himself to the laboratory to use a chess app on his smart phone to cheat.

The tournament officials eventually caught him and they sent us this amazing photo:

Can you guess who the cheater was? It's a tough call but I'm going to go with the shady dude in purple, who looks like he has not slept or showered in a few days.

His name is Gaioz Nigalidze and cleanliness proved to be an issue during his cheating scandal in Dubai.

According to Yahya Mohammed, the tournament director, his investigation into the frequent bathroom visits was an open-and-shut case: "The last time he went, he was in there for maybe 10 to 15 minutes -- with no flush. Nobody uses the toilet for 15 minutes without flushing," he told reporter Paul Radley of The National.

No flush? This dude just got lazy. He's probably been cheating like this for years.

After he was confronted for cheating, Nigalidze was banned for 15 years and then everyone associated with the chess world -- myself included -- let out a sigh of relief.

Click here to read the full report.

A food truck? In Abu Dhabi??

In America, food trucks are the real deal.

These mobile eateries literally drive up and park next to the people and keep the masses satisfied with delicious food and drink. They started to pick up on the West Coast but have now consumed just about every major metropolitan city in the country.

Great movies like Chef have documented the rise of food trucks in America.

Editor's Note: the movie also has an amazing soundtrack so do yourself a favor and get a free listen on YoutTube.

Like many things in the Western Hemisphere, I knew it would be just be a matter of time before this latest culinary craze trickles down to the UAE.

Introducing the 21 Emirati Cafe food truck:

I apologize in advance. Due to a broken foot -- I will explain that story later -- I could not conduct my normal investigation nor did I prod the workers with inquiries.

Just a few of the many questions we all have:

- What does the "21" mean? Is there an age restriction to dine here?
- Do you guys serve Emirati food? Did the country's founders snack on nachos?
- What is business like? I can see you are very busy...
- How can we keep track of where you will be? Are you going to hit any huge music festivals this summer?
- Is that a black velvet rope next to the window? So luxurious.

Instead of an interview, I snapped a few photos and then hobbled away in disgrace. But after research online, I found they do have a Four Square account, whatever that is?

I have seen the truck perched off Sheikh Zayed Road (Salam Street) near the Eastern Mangroves but during this particular encounter, I found them in the parking lot of the Marina Mall. As the picture shows, foot traffic was very heavy that night.

Has there been any other sightings? Please, do tell.

I really hope the food truck culture picks up in Abu Dhabi. The 21 Emirati Cafe is a pioneer in the local scene and as soon as I get in there for a taste, I'll be sure to update my local readers on the flavor. Cheers.

Preparing for a baby in the UAE: Is my life over?

Shit just got real.

For me, baby apparel that actually goes on my body takes things to a whole new level. That's our friend Meagan strapping a Baby Bjorn to my chest. Sigh...

If you haven't heard already, my amazing wife Miranda is a little over 19 weeks pregnant and for the last few months, the limited free space in our one-bedroom apartment has become more and more limited.

Baby stuff is starting to mount with a very present momentum as our storage space has become consumed by a baby crib, stroller, sink bath tub, and plenty of other baby accessories.

But where am I going to store my camping gear? What about my mountain bike? More importantly, where the hell am I going to put my pool table?

I know what you're saying: Get ready big daddy, things are about to change in your simple little life. So let the freakout begin!

Thank goodness, there is proper prose for men that are in my current situation. Trust me, I have read plenty of the traditional "So you're going to be a parent -- get ready for your life to end" books. They are scattered along my desk at home, they sit on my bedside table and I even have one next to the toilet.

But the best book I have read so far is this one:

"Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads" by Gary Greenberg and Jeannie Hayden has restored my confidence, calmed some of my fears and exposed me to some great tips such as:

- how to change a diaper at a packed stadium
- create a decoy drawer full of old wallets, remote controls and cell phones to throw baby off the scent of your real gear
- construct an emergency diaper out of a towel, a sock and duct tape

It could use an update, however, based on the dated technology references to VCRs and pagers. But reading about that stuff usually makes for a good laugh and proves that fathers-to-be have also been freaking out since as far back at the early 1990's.

Books help. Friends offer great words of encouragement. But the fact remains...

We are having a baby. In the United Arab Emirates. What the hell are we thinking?

Buy the ticket; take the ride.