Emirates Post in Abu Dhabi is amazing!

We are expecting our baby daughter to arrive this month so the constant flow of generous gifts arriving from our friends and family overseas has been very special.

But the mail and/or package delivery system in this country is a hard nut to crack.

You see, in the grand land of the UAE, normal citizens do not enjoy the luxury of personal mailboxes at the end of the driveway. What's a driveway, you ask. Good question. The days of the suburban mailman running away from the barking dog are over.

You are not in Kansas anymore.

Most expats just use the PO Box address at their office of employment for mail delivery. But when doing that, you are now at their mercy and it can be a frustrating endeavour.

The postage workers at The National are nice guys, when you can actually catch them. During Ramadan, they were almost non-existent. But now, they usually "work" from about 10am until around 4pm. I work evenings and arrive at my office around 4pm so it has been a cat-and-mouse game with them for the last few weeks.

Actual text message dialogue with a colleague from work:

Me: Hey mate, let's say I want to mail an envelope, do you think our office manager or someone in the office post desk can sell me a stamp and put it in the outgoing mail?

Esteemed colleague: No.

Me: Wow, just no? That's it? No recourse...

EC: Emirates Post, bro.

Me: Just for a simple envelope? So you're telling me I have to drive into town, find parking, probably wait in lines and potentially lose my sh*t just for a UAE stamp?

EC: Yep.

Me: That seems logical. Oh yea, what's that? Logic? I threw that right out the window when I moved here, right? Thanks for the info. But if you will now excuse me, I have to designate what surely will be a 45-minute ordeal toward the simple and mundane task of mailing an envelope.

EC: You're weird, bro.

When Miranda and I pulled into the Emirates Post parking lot, we were shocked to find a spot very close to the door. VIP parking for VIPP (very important and pregnant people).

Emirates Post is a pretty big building with lots of intricate, smaller offices inside of it. It's also where you go to get your Emirates ID and plenty of other "just moving here" tasks.

They take the DMV approach: to limit human exchange, you push a button, get a ticket, have a seat and then patiently wait for your number to appear on the small electrical screens above each faithful and understanding government worker.

It helps to arrive with a beautiful woman. Aside from the gawking stares she will receive from seemingly bored men just waiting for their number to be called, you will also get to enjoy your own waiting area and soak up some more VIPP luxury.

The wait wasn't too long. About 15 minutes. Our guy weighed my simple envelope, we briefly negotiated the postage price and as soon as I licked and applied the stamps, he tossed the envelope over his shoulder -- without looking -- and it fell into a basket marked "standard delivery".

And just like that, the long journey for that simple little envelope had begun.

Before we were about to leave, I asked if he possibly had any packages addressed to me. My packages are supposed to come to my office but once they arrive in the UAE, things seem to slow down and packages bound for my office will marinate at Emirates Post for days or even weeks.

Sure enough, a special package from Texas addressed to yours truly had been collecting dust there since Ramadan. We were thrilled with this news, which resulted in a high-five between husband and pregnant wife.

We came to Emirates Post not knowing what to expect with a mere envelope in our hands. We left with a big package full of new baby clothes in tow and with a victorious smile on our faces.

It truly was a UAE success story.

Fuel price increase is least of UAE concerns

For the last week or so, the car-driving community of the UAE has been in hysterics!

The UAE government announced that they would be removing subsidies on fuel prices starting August 1 and threatened to make the price comparable to the international market. Hearing the news, the public started to freak out and a sudden push was made for the re-introduction of the hoverboard from Back to the Future II.

Electric car, anyone? But in the oil-rich land of the Middle East, wouldn't that be like shooting yourself in the foot? Before you decide to mount a camel and hit the road, read this analysis piece from The National that explains why the price hike could have long-term benefits.

But let be honest for a second: for the last two and half years while living in Abu Dhabi, I have not even paid attention to the cost of filling up my tank. Because every time I pull up to the petrol station, I got Taylor Swift blasting through the speakers and can't be bothered with looking up prices near the pump. In the States, they usually post the ever-changing prices on huge boards so gas stations can stay competitive with one another. Not here. There are three major gas retailers in the UAE and -- surprise! -- they are all owned by the government.

Plus, not worrying about gas prices was one of the good things about living here. We're all just driving around, through the desert, but there never were any worries because the gas was always SUPER CHEAP. For example, I drive a 2013 Kia Sportage with a 70-litre gas tank and it costs about Dh75 to fill up my tank and that translates to $20.43. Not too shabby, huh?

Plus, when you pull up to a gas station in the UAE (and it doesn't matter if Taylor Swift is playing), they have gas attendants who fill you up so you can stay nice and cool in your air-conditioned car. They will even wipe down your windows, too.

Spoiler alert: we are becoming lazy.

Then when it's time to pay, the gas attendants will be happy to swipe your credit card. But because they do not have the mobile credit card machines, they ask if you have a pin number and then you tell it to them so they can complete the transaction while you remain inside your air-conditioned car. Giving your pin number to a random gas attendant? Sounds about right.

Spoiler alert: we are becoming VERY lazy.

Oh look, they just built a drive-thru McDonalds next to the gas station. Well, it's only 9am but I have the sudden hankering for a McArabia. It's like a Big Mac, but even better. Good thing this particular McDonald's is open 24 hours a day.

Spoiler alert: we are becoming so damn lazy and we will all die from DIABETES.

From another article this week in The National:

Minister of Energy Suhail Al Mazrouei says the new petrol prices announced on Tuesday are still relatively low, given the lack of tax.

From Saturday, the price for a litre of Special 95 will increase from Dh1.72 to Dh2.14 – a rise of 23.6 per cent. Super 98 has been set at Dh2.25 and E Plus at Dh2.07. But diesel is now Dh2.05, a 29 per cent drop from its previous price of Dh2.90.

“I don’t think people will give up their cars,” said Mr Al Mazrouei. “There is a segment of people with very low incomes making Dh1,000 or Dh1,500 salaries a month. This is not healthy. They should use the services [public transport] that the Government is providing them with."

Not healthy? NOT HEALTHY?!! At least these people are not consuming fast food at an alarming rate and during all hours of the night. But forcing them onto the public transit buses sounds like a viable solution to this fuel price increase.

Spoiler alert: I ate McDonald's for lunch today. It cost a little less than a tank of gas.

Babymoon in the Seychelles

I have said it many times on this blog and it's been echoed to my expat friends within the UAE and beyond:

THE OPPORTUNITY TO TRAVEL is the best thing about living here.

As our passports fill up with international stamps and my little collection of ziploc bags with currency from all around the world continues to build, I find myself asking: when will this end?

Some people think having a baby on the way -- Miranda is eight months pregnant -- will throw a wrench into our travel plans. But we are not so quick to assume that.

The goal is to have our child adapt to our lifestyles. Not the other way around. Yes, I know that sounds a little selfish and perhaps a little unrealistic, but we've already agreed that we're going to give it a shot. After all, she is an international baby.

While in the womb, she has already visited six (6) different countries! She will have her US passport photo taken within the first 10 days of her life. By comparison, I was well out of high school before I even visited a foreign land for the first time or applied for that little blue booklet that would allow me to do so.

 

So to keep up with our travels, Miranda asked me if there were any destinations on my before-our-daughter-arrives bucket list. One place came to mind: the Far East. Then our friend Anna accepted a new job in Beijing so the writing was on the wall. Our five-day trip to China was eye-opening and shocking and inspiring all at the same time.

After that, it was time to hit some beautiful beaches. Everyone in Abu Dhabi -- at least many of the Western expats -- like to talk about the Maldives and the Seychelles as the ultimate paradise getaway from the UAE.

Both sets of islands are pretty similar, both are located in the Indian Ocean and both are a few hours away by plane.

Speaking of planes, there were only a few weeks left before Miranda and her growing belly could be allowed to board one. So we booked our tickets for the Seychelles and then #BabyMoon2015 was in full effect.

Traveling will always open your eyes to things.

Example: So Miranda and I joined other vacation-inspired people wearing their loose-fitting cabana outfits and together, we all got on a plane, flew directly over a country violently divided in a bloody civil war, crossed the equator, and then, about three hours later, landed in a tropical paradise. Indeed, we live in strange times.

But once we touched down at Mahe, where about 90 percent of the Seychelles population lives, the unrest in Yemen was about the farthest thing from our mind. I guess vacation does that to you.

It was also my first visit to Africa. Yes, you heard me right. That group of beautiful islands absorbed in the vast Indian Ocean are considered to be among the continent of Africa.

And what a cool vibe Mahe had.

It was very similar to the Caribbean, which is where Miranda and I first met when we were both living and working on St. Thomas, US Virgin Islands.

Being swept up in that similar setting -- relaxing breezes, strong drink and brief afternoon showers -- was a great way for us to take an inventory on our relationship and enjoy some of the final days we will ever have alone ... without our offspring.

It was also a great time for me to celebrate my wife and everything she has already done for our growing family. Could not think of a better place to share those moments with her.

Top things to do while hosting visitors in Abu Dhabi

They do not come often but when visitors do touch down on UAE soil and take in that first breath of fresh desert air, I like to greet them with cold beer and a smile.

I was just kidding about that first part. You need a liquor license to drink alcohol in this country -- c'mon, everyone knows that -- but the smiles are free and I tend to give them out on a first-come, first-served basis.

Basically, when friends and family come to visit, my goal is to show them a good time and expose them to some of the cool things I have picked up during my short time here. I usually tell them to leave their preconceived notions about the Middle East at home and buckle up, because it's going to be a wild ride.

So if you are an expat living in Abu Dhabi and you're coming up short of things to plan for a friend visiting town (really?) then you need to read this must-do checklist carefully. If you are a tourist or someone considering a move to the UAE, these tidbits should help:

DISCLAIMER: My little brother Conor visited us for a week and we pulled all of this off despite me working four out of the seven nights he was in town. I have to chalk that up to having a cool wife, who hung out with him while I was at the office and for Conor being a cool traveler, who did not need me to hold his hand every second so he could have fun. The more trips you take with people, the more you realize that everyone travels differently. Word to the wise, my friend.

Day 1 (welcome to the desert)
- Flights from the other side of the world (Australia, America, etc.) usually arrive late at night and by that time, your weary traveling guest may be a little jetlagged so letting them sleep may be paramount.
- Pick them up at airport, take them to their hotel or to your place so you can show off your digs.
- Be sensitive to their sleeping needs.

Day 2 (start them out slowly)
- Let them lounge by the pool at your building or their hotel to get started. This will help them get acclimated to the desert heat and shake off the jetlag.
- Grab lunch at Cafe Arabia. Great local spot with a cool rooftop deck. Order the shakshuka if you are in a breakfast kind of mood.
- Show them where you work and give them a tour of your office. Introduce them to your work mates and let them see your desk. They will be curious what you are doing in the UAE for a job and of course, how much you are paid.
- Maybe a little happy hour at Captain Of Arms behind Le Meridian hotel. It's also near the Abu Dhabi Mall if they want to get some shopping in.

Day 3 (let's get this party started)
- Take them to the Grand Mosque and let them walk around and grab those obligatory Middle East photos. The GM is always a great spot to visit and should impress any visitor. Be sure to go early in the day to beat the heat and the other tourists. In a hurry? You can conquer this site in 20 minutes or just take your sweet time.
- Shoot on down to Emirates Palace, one of the grandest hotels in the world. Plenty to see as you walk around and yes, they DO have an ATM machine that dispenses gold bricks. They also have pools and beach action there if you feel like getting wet.
- Take the scenic drive down the Corniche and head to Saddiyat Island. There is golf, beach and museums there to indulge in. I always like to make a stop at FANR for some light cocktails and their famous camel burger.
- Finish it off with some drinks at the Saddiyat Beach Club, formerly the Monte Carlo Club, with some live music pool side. The beach is a very short walk away and the sunsets from there are very memorable.

Day 4 (the fun continues)
- Start day off with a beach visit to the Corniche. Sure, they may have saw the beach from the car already so now they are ready to dive right in. There are public beaches along this six-kilometer stretch and there are also private beaches where you can rent lounge chairs and umbrellas.
- Have lunch at Nova Beach Cafe. It's right on the public beach and will provide great people watching at one of the busiest spots on the Corniche. They have cafe tables outside and day beds to relax on.
- Any need for speed? Spend the afternoon at Al Forsan International Sports Resort, where you can do anything from paintball to shooting real firearms. But my favorite is the carting. If you bring a group of friends, try to reserve the track in advance. Every driver can register right there and your results are posted electronically after the 20-minute race. Not long enough? Trust me, your body will be feeling it after the checkered flag is waved.

Day 5 (time to catch your breath)
- This city is saturated with gaudy malls and they are popping up everywhere. Let your guests get overwhelmed in Marina Mall, Yas Mall or Al Wahda Mall -- a few of my favorites. Not that I am a big fan of these establishments but your visitor may want to take in some of the conspicuous consumption that has made the UAE famous.
- A few more non-established outlets could include the Iranian Souq E Meena Fish Market or the Souk Qaryat Al Beri.
- If there is any energy left after your shopping spree, then a desert safari should be in your afternoon plans. Most of the companies do a great job with this as it usually starts around 3pm and then get you back to Abu Dhabi around 11.30pm. There are plenty of companies here that offer different options -- all of them are usually great.

Day 6 (time to eat and drink)
- Friday is a day for brunch and here in Abu Dhabi, it can be done in style. Especially with guests in from out of town. Every hotel and even more restaurants offer different takes on brunch. The options are endless. I would have to devote an entire blog post to all my favorites. You get the idea.
- Brunch usually goes from noon to 4.30pm. Be sure to tell your guests to pace themselves because there are a lot of 'after-brunch' spots that offer more drink specials and live music.
- Be safe. Take cabs everywhere. Rock some Uber. The real heros last after the sun goes down but there is no fault in taking an afternoon siesta that stretches into the weekend. Cheers.

Day 7 (final stretch)
- Who said brunch is only for Fridays? One of my favorite spots in the UAE is Blue Marlin Ibiza and they offer a very chill brunch on Saturday mornings. They are located in between Dubai and Abu Dhabi so it's a great spot to meet new people.
- Lounge on the beach, take in their Mediterranean cuisine and dance your face off with the live music.
- But make sure you have a designated driver. They even offer DD's for you for an additional price.

*   *   *

By the time I dropped Conor off at the airport, he told me that it was one of the best trips he had ever taken and I can only attribute that to my amazing hosting abilities.

I know, so modest.

Some people think taking a vacation to the Middle East is some kind of dangerous experience. But like I've said countless times, the UAE is very different compared to what you are reading in newspapers and scoffing at on the television. Seeing it for yourself is the only way you will know.

I'm glad Conor took the chance. Just another satisfied customer.

Let it be known: My door is always open.

Goodness, gracious Great Wall of China

Since my amazing wife and I are expecting our first child in late August, we have put our foot on the gas and accelerated our travel plans.

Not because life ends when a baby comes into the picture.

No sir. Quite the opposite, really.

Since this beautiful baby bump has emerged on my beautiful wife, our daughter-to-be has officially traveled to five different countries already ... FIVE! While growing up in America, I didn't even flirt with Europe until college. Oy!

But for our sweet baby, she has already hit India, Thailand, the UAE, the United States and we just added China to the list. Quite the world traveler this one...

We have set the bar high so when she officially joins our clan, we can only imagine that she will have the thirst for travel my wife and I already share. We have a Baby Bjorn and we plan on using it.

During this latest endeavor, we visited our great friend Anna in Beijing for five days. There were daily flights to China's capital via Etihad and since Anna works for Kempinski Hotels, we had a great place to stay during our visit.

But to be honest, our main goal for this little getaway was just to experience a new culture. I mean half the planet lives there so we really had to see this place for ourselves. Our Chinese visas were stamped, we had Baby Gray in tow and we made sure to hit all the sights.

There was Tiananmen Square, the Forbidden City, plenty of dumplings to eat, along with some Pekking Duck and to top it all off: Goodness, gracious, the Great Wall of China!